enairobi

2011-07-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

hmm back to blogging....
well i finally graduated and
i get to go on a solo trip to malaysia,
KL was the city
Penang was the old heritage town,
langkawi is where the beaches are.
This trip which was what i really looking forward to,
and was fascinating since i was still studying..
n yeap i realise my dream.
This made me thought tat,
if i never made the effort to pursue what i wanted,
i would never have made this trip come true,
i guess this apply to whatever that is going on in my life.
i know ppl are concern about the fact that when will i get a job,
prospect...salary.....
but to me,
this are worthless....
i wan to be happy doin the things i enjoy,
life is so short...
shouldnt we pursue what we wan to do
instead of just doing sth you dun like,
sth which make you dread going to work everyday,
doing sth for years n years
thats ur life??
i wont want that.....
no matter how much ppl deter me from my dreams,
i will work on it....
there is a saying :
"Regret what you had done, rather than regretting what you have not done"
yup tat sums up what i m gona do wif my life....
i wan to progress,
i wan to move forward.

2011-02-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

hmm u called me on vday.....
i tot u wanna tok to me.....
but u onli wanted my user name n password.....
i m realli heart broken.....
i know u had a great vday.....
congrats.....
i duno why but the pain is back...
its reali painful
but i cant call u......
pls.....i duno what can i do.....
cherish ur love one.

2011-02-11T08:12:00.000-08:00

i duno why.....
but i felt jealous seein u wif others....
i mean all along i haf been feelin this way.....
i know nth i say now will mend anything......
many a times memories comes back...
i miss the times we had....
i juz wonder y i cant put all these down...
like here i m still cryin over u....
i juz feel so helpless
without u by my side....
m i pathetic...?
all these while.....
onli u exist in my heart...
its a kind of slow painful torture, u know?
i still love u....
rem wat day 13th is?
anyway happi valentine' day.....
thou i realli wan to spent it wif u.....
i rather spent it alone....

2011-02-03T06:49:00.000-08:00

A brand new year ahead of me.........
well looking back on 2010, i m glad that everyone beside is me is healthy......
i did alot of travelling too......i guess these trips realli help to broaden my life,
it makes me feel alot better.....realli love Tioman, Langkawi.....and of cos my recent trip to taiwan.....hmmm sometimes yes i do wish u were wif me....
hmm i realli duno how this yr would turn out for me....
i would be grad this sem....i guess alot of changes this yr....anyway for 2011,
i hope i can get more involved in doing social work such as goin to the old folk home.....
i have been talking abt it but i realli dun haf the time to get down to it.....
i also hope i can pursue what i want in life......yeap...
n i still hope ppl around me stay healthy n happi always.......
hmm well i hope u would find a job that u like soon.....lead the life u wan......
hmm today is the first day of cny......
well went to visit my grandma.....she isit doin well.....she is actually in a hospice....
looking at her, i try very hard to fight back my tears.....
she is so thin n weak.....
i jus find it sad that she just lie there all day....no one to talk to...
i just wish her gd health....
u went bck home......i realise i still miss u......
i cherish the time we spent together sometimes...
the intimacy that we shared....
xiang ni, ai ni

2010-12-09T06:53:00.000-08:00

i am sori.
i realli hate myself.....
i dun wan to treat u this way
but i m afraid my love for u will resurface.
all these while
i have been trying so hard to keep it within
today i went to collect my term paper
not so gd....
i tot i could handle it despite goin thru so many sems
but i could nt
i juz brokedown
u were the onli one who came to my mind
i try so hard to not call u
but i still did.
but u were busy....
i shouldnt haf made that call...
dun take pity on me....pls
just let me suffer this alone....pls
sorri i haf to treat u this way....
the pain came back.....
i wanted to tell u but i cant....
sorri

2010-11-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

life has been pretty peaceful these days,
well not realli, i just had a good crying session last week,
didnt know why but something inside me dwell my tears,
yes i dun deny its u,
its time i should wake up....
but nevertheless i will still treasure our memories
keep it wif me always,
i miss the old u,
take care of urself
i m sure u r happier now
can go whereever u wan
be a carefree bird.
.........................
exams exams and exams.....
i wonder how i did....
but i told myself i did my best.
it has been a realli stressful day,
just finish a paper,
wrote alot of pages as if there wasnt enough time,
and yes there realli not enough time.
after my paper, i took a bus back...
suddenly my surroundings was so noisy to me,
i hear people talking loudly,
all sorts of people,
sometimes i juz wish tat they can just shut up,
the whole world can just shut up,
and let me haf some peace.

2010-10-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

hmm was realli heart broken yesterday,
i know i dun mean a thing to u now
but i still hope sometimes u would just care for me,
ask abt me
but u never....
yes, perhaps in the past i took things for granted,
but now i cherish every moment wif u,
then i thought, why hold on to something that u doesnt wan anymore.
all these while,
all these things i did for u,
i never regret doin it
juz hope that u r happy,
but i guess u juz took my concern for granted.
i called u,
there were many things i wanna tell u,
i wanna ask abt how ur life is,
but u sounded like u dun realli wan to tok to me...
perhaps i think too much
but it realli pains my heart when i m holding so tight onto our memories,
you r letting it go.
yes u r happy wif ur own life,
perhaps i m juz a disturbance to ur life,
sorry for being such a bother.
i juz wonder why i m so foolish
its been so long and i am living in pain everyday,
why is it like tat?
it only points to 1 thing, i love u
i know what i should do
take care.

2010-10-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

hmm duno why but everytime i am out shopping,
i would always think of buying things for u,
it is the same as the past,
am glad u like it.....
i still know your size....
that day passin u the stuff,
suddenly felt the once familiar love that we shared,
i helped u to put ur things into ur bag,
i feed u things to eat....
its realli something that i cherish alot...
hmm today i actually forgot to return my lib bks...
its frm national lib near my hse so i quickly went to return in the late nite....
i was realli freak out by the suddenly movement of things on the floor,
realli afraid of cockroaches.....
as i was panicking....
i called u, hmm u were slping...
i duno why i called u but i wanted to tok to u to divert my attention away frm those things
i guess u still haven step out of my life..
i still miss u....

2010-10-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

dear.....
had dinner wif u the other day,
it was a simple dinner yet full of memories,
full of happiness,
at least to me.
talkin abt fate,
i still remember there was this time in sch when i was sitting on the bus A2,
and u juz came out of computing,
our eyes interlock,
its amazing,
funny as it can be too....
its fate that brought us together, i believed.
Been busy wif reports recently,
suddenly thought tat i haven been blogging,
it seems that thru this blog,
i am able to talk to u.
i miss u......
sometimes i juz wish we could get back together,
perhaps deep in my heart i haven once gave up on us,
but seeing how well u r getting on...
i think i m redundant in ur life,
u dun nid me in ur life anymore,
i juz hope tat u n ur loved ones stay healthy n happy.

2010-09-19T11:43:00.000-07:00

hmmm duno why but i woke up in tears today.
watched 'Love Cuts' on fri wif my friends,
its a local production staring zoe tay,
hmm i guess this movie is one which realli makes me cry my heart out,
after the movie i even haf to hide in the toliet to finish crying.
movie content is about losing a loved one,
which i guess i clearly understand the pain,
i love the theme song too.....realli illustrates how i feel....
i guess i m havin a pretty low period now....
realli affected by that show.....
that explains why i cried this morning prob....
or perhaps is because of ur call?
that moment i sapped back into our past....
rem u always used to call me in the morning and i m still asleep....
that moment i felt connected wif u again....
but after tat, i m pain stricken to what has happen to us....
i still love u......
but who realli understand? the pain i m goin thru?
1 yr plus, everynite thinking abt u,
the past kept coming back....
everynite i teared,
everynite i m in pain,
who can possibly imagine the kind of agony that i m going thru....

2010-09-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

hmm been realli busy.......
but as the saying goes,
i kept myself busy because i wan to divert my attention.
was glad that u came back.....
i tot i could realli let go but i end up deceiving myself
finally u move back ur things....
it looks empty now.....
my heart feels the same too.....
u didnt took ur helmet....
at least i can still look at it in the middle of the night.....
feelin ur presense.......
i dun grieve anymore......
its a complicated feeling.......
but its ok la......
m glad u r movin on wif ur life.....
havin ur own space.....
havin ur own life.......
m i being foolish by remaining in such a stage?
i realli dun grieve.....i dun wan u to pity me.....
i am juz contented that u r movin on.....
pursuin ur own happiness....
for me...life goes on.....
but holding on to the memories that u left me.....
today i was on thebus, i rem us last time in vivo....
u always keep a close check my shopping....
the way we talk, the way ur arms were around me,
this little things touched my heart.....
working was tough.....
whenever i see couples coming into the shop,
i envy them....
it juz brings back so much memories....
hmmm i cant help but feel u changed since ur trip overseas.....
becoming more estrange towards me.....
but its ok la....i foresee it.....
ur life goes on without me....
i m sorri that i disturb ur life.....
wish u happiness........
u know....its tirin juggling work n studies....
sometimes when u need a person to tok to,
there is no one to turn to......
that feelin is terrible.....
hmm it ok la.....it will be over.....
yup its abt it.....should not dwell too much....
juz happy that u r back...
cherish ur loved ones....
hugz.

2010-08-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

hmm i m contented for havin friends to celebrate my birthday wif me......
its realli a blessing....
juz a simple dinner....
but a deep deep joy n impact......
i m contented wif what i have....
on the day of my birthday,
i chose to stay at home....
bought a cake for myself....
waited for my mum to cut it wif me....
simple but its a sweet n warmth feeling....
to me.....
everyday seems like a new beginging......
everyday has a meaning to it......
i live everyday wif care......not wanting to waste it.....
hmm prob its the travelling to sch part which makes the day looks realli long....
but i realli cherish n enjoy going to sch now.....
i duno why but each day is so meaningful to me....
sometimes i juz like to indugle in our sweet memories....
on the bus,
i tot of u always surprisingly appearing at my door step....
the panting look on ur face still leave a deep impact in me.....
memories brings back some joy to me.....
i miss the times when u cover me wif blanket, kissing my forehead...
i miss u.....
n yes, as for my birthday wish, i juz hope that my family, my friends stay healthy n happy...
its the most impt thing in life i guess......being healthy n happy.....

2010-08-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

dear.......
hmm recently got back frm langkawi.....
its a veri beautiful place......
somehow i tot to myself,
can i give up everything in spore n juz settle n stay there....
currently may not be able to,
but i realli hope i can in the future.....
the whole journey, i found more peace at heart.....
life is so short.......
i realli wan to juz be happy.....
yup sch started......
its onli the 3rd day n i m tired of travelling to n fro to sch......
maybe i nid to get use to it......
but i m realli anxious this time round.......
its my last yr...
wanna enjoy schooling life.....
hmm there was this friend who told me,
why m i remaining in the same position when u have already gone thousand of miles ahead....
i should move on........
i tot its kinda true......
u have move on wif ur life....
while i m still stuck in the past......
it takes time i think....
i still love the old u......

2010-08-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

dear.......
today i had a talk wif a friend.
he told me alot abt his life......
he wanted me to leap out of my pain,
he knew what i m going thru.....
i know he cares alot.....
but many a times......
its easy to just say.....
its hard to do it.....
well i m goin to penang and langkawi 2ml.....
be back just before sch starts.....
i m glad to go wif these bunch of friends.....
duno why....i juz wanna escape frm all these......
wish u were wif me.......

2010-07-26T11:24:00.001-07:00

its just all part and parcel of life.....
this phrase kept repeating itself in my mind......
working has actually became a pleasant thing for me,
but till recently i think i will go insane if i continue to work....
this time round, its not abt the customers....
its abt my co worker...1 of them juz like to pick on me....
he doesnt even care abt respect n my pride....
which realli hurts me alot.....
i wonder y he juz likes to pick on me....
i guess he thinks i m nice to be bully....
but i dun wanna stoop to his level n argue wif him......
i nv like to get into a quarrel wif another person......
i can tel myself this, i wont stay long in this job anyway so he can say whatever he wants,
i wont be bother by his comments ....
anyway my other colleages realli treat me veri well....
well its all part n parcel of life....
i juz wish u were here to listen to my troubles....
u were always there in the past....
and u will always try to make me smile....
i still miss u....
xiang ni.....

2010-07-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

dear...... been busy working and sch stuff recently.....
juz that....always missing u......
saw on facebook that u are looking for place to stay....
i was being naive....i actually thought of staying wif u....
silly rite........
i miss u......
duno why but i m cryin everynite.....
everyday i hope u are safe n happy over there....
i love u.....

2010-07-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

dear.....
today went out for dinner wif my family to east coast park....had seafood....chilli crabs, prawns etc.....after that went to holland village supermarket alone to buy things...or rather needed some fresh air........hmm duno why.....holland v brings back some memories.....i rem the time we went the the coffee shop for supper.......rem? the noodles? i am juz missing u i guess...dear, xiang ni....ai ni

2010-06-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

dear.....
watch sex n the city 2.....
got reminded of us....
u brought me to watch the show...
i fell in love with it at first sight,
just like how i felt in love wif u.....
it just brought back so much memories....
juz wondering how u r .....
miss u.

2010-06-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

I just recall how we use to tok on the phone.....
not much words...
just a simple 'miss you, love you'
i actually think that is a kind of blessing
i thought of how we were so sticky to each other tat we didnt wanted to put down the phone....
and our usual habit of u putting down the phone 1st...
'baby'...thats wat u used to call me....
well...trying to find the moon today....
wondering how is urs over there?
u should be havin alot of fun....
m i being foolish by living in our past memories?
i think its the only thing that i can indulge in to be really filled with happiness in my heart
its the kind of simple joy that i enjoy...
do u feel it?

2010-06-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

hmm......
had a little breakdown.....
stress from work.....
alot of unexpected load.....
the current job, yeap i m doing sales...
the stress comes from the sales...
the 1st time i m being push to my limits....
i just dread going to work....
but i know its just started so i got to adapt....
i see this as a challenge.....
but in the mean time, i wonder if i m losing myself...
i m unhappy, and i got to put on a front when i goes to work....
its mentally exhausting.....
sometimes i juz wish you were there to cheer me on,
to ask me hows the day at work....
to ask me if i had my meals during working hours...
to drop a caring message to spur me on...
a shoulder to lean on when i cry.....
i just wish u were here wif me......
its pathetic tat no one cares...
its sad when i needed someone to be there and no one is there
evryda is work n work n home....
i was just wondering why every post is like talking to u....
it actually help me feels better....
all these posts....
i juz cry each time i go back n look at them....
i get reminded of the pain i was in at tat point of time...
i just needed you.....
the old you....

2010-06-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

dear......
i duno what happen recently.....
i juz feel lost....
i m tired......
i miss u.....
but i know no matter what its useless....
maybe i should juz let go of everything....
the burden is so heavy.....
i myself cant keep up wif it....
i should go away alone....
at least for awhile.....
dun bother abt me .......i will be alright.
辜负爱的期待，已经不可能再回来。
愿你能相信爱，有一天还依然存在。
也许从此不再呼唤，许一段平静未来。
回忆是最完美的离开。

2010-06-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

i didnt know who to turn to.....
how i wish u were still by my side
listening to me....
its juz so painful at times...
everyday......
the memories kept coming back....
reliving it seem to tear me apart....
my friend say to me,
life is about makin bridges...
a bridge is made and another destroy....
i should move on since life is so short right?
but can i still move on??
i m afraid.....
my friend said that i could be havin withdrawal syptoms...
i just wan u back....
dear,
Sorry,
I miss u,

2010-06-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

hmm recently went to Tioman with my chinese club friends...random decision, we decided the night before we went so quite rush....never book anything so juz went.....
hmm the trip was quite short onli abt 2 hours bus then ferry 1 hour...but we were on our own la...we went to this 1st resort, alighted at the wrong jetty then had to climb thru the forest before reachin our destination....it was a secluded beach just like the one we went to tat time......
the sea was realli beautiful......i didnt know why i went wif them but it seem like fulfilling one of our promises..that is to go on a trip like this juz like last yr...i wanted to relive our memories...
day 2...went to another resort......hmm spent the whole day looking for place to stay.....we got to their little town....quite a quiet town....in the end none of us could stand it so we end up the the realli expensive hotel berjaya resort......heheee realli had fun not slping n talkin thru the night......
i realli enjoy the trip.....thought of alot of things........i miss our happy moments in redang........
anyway we check our results at tioman...again i was dejected by my results.....but what can i do?! i seem to have given up hope.......without u by my side to cheer me on...i lose faith in myself...
sometimes the pain keep coming back..........especially when i was in tioman.......was wondering if u would occasionally think of the times we had in redang? i still miss u......

2010-05-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

i really got angry whenever ppl talk bad about u....
today went for high tea with serene n ryan.....
they were gossipin abt u....
i realli got upset n angry...
they misunderstood u
u r still perfect in my eyes...
i miss u....

2010-05-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

There are alot of things that i wanna clarify wif u....
but i dun think u will believe me....
think u saw the picture...
yes, i do admit there r guys who are interested in me.....
but how do i feel towards them?
I only regard them as friends...
guess u got the wrong idea....
u know...i m tired of such guessing games....
guessin who u r wif....
or who u r seeing.....
its tiring....
u should know me better....
if i found someone new....
would i still hug ur helmet everynite
thinking its u
trying to find ur smell on it...
crying for u
as much as i miss u.....
and i have to wake up everyday telling myself its ok
cherishing hope to be wif u again,
waiting 4 u...
this is how my life goes on....
i duno if u feel the same
but it is an agony for me...
i m getting tired of all these....
life is so short
why cant we choose the path we wan our lives to be?
why cant we put down everything and start all over?
i cherish my loved ones
cos i know its my fortunate to get to know them.
i told myself tat i m not going into another relationship again,
cos i could no longer bear the pain of losing someone.
its reali painful.
perhaps u misunderstood or wat....
my heart n soul still lives in our past sweet memories,
the sweet lovely time of us.
Time will prove everything...
juz take care of urself over there....
enjoy urself....
i know u r pursuing ur happiness,
i m happy for u...
miss u

2010-05-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

Watched Sex and the City again........
thought of us......
reminded me of the days we had.
"I know I screwed it up, but I love you forever."

2010-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Dear,
ironically u left on the 13th of May.......
the first day without you,
but i could still feel your presense around me.
Thinking how u would be doing,
thinking whether u had you meals,
wonder what r u doing in your free time on the plane.....
but somehow there is still alittle sting in my heart,
without u, I seem to be lost,
void of all directions.
Today I went to malaysia with my chinese club friends,
thought of u,
thought of the days we went to the little island.
I just hope you are doing well,
been worrying about you,
miss you.

2010-05-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today, perhaps it may be our last meeting,
no one knows what will happen.
wats the day today remember??
13th may.......its been 2 yrs......
i m glad u r moving on,
meeting new friends,
perhaps one day u may juz find someone to love again.
but me,
i chose a path
a path that will always have you along.
i m contented juz seeing u,
i took things for granted in the past,
but now,
i feel contented jus seeing your things placing n that corner of that house.
i could only hug your helmet,
thinking its you.
i realli miss you,
what i wanna tell u juz now is,
i will wait for you,
the only way to share my life wif you is thru this blog,
i duno if u will read all these,
but i shall live life as if u r by my side,
indugling in our beautiful memories.
i still love you.

2010-05-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

dear, do u rem our promise?
our promise not to give up on each other and to love each other...
i haf so many things to tell u....
i am still waiting....
i am just contented to hear your voice....
now that u r leavin,
i just feel so helpless.
i reali wish you could be happy,
free from everything,
just let me endure this alone,
i realli miss u

2010-04-29T08:14:00.001-07:00

The fact is i still miss u alot....
but for u to move on,
i have no choice but to keep it to myself,
i hear people say that tme will ease the pain,
its not true at all.
whenever i see couple on the streets,
it reminds me of us,
i m glad that u r moving on.
losing u, i lose myself too.
listening to backstreet boys,
"how did i fall in love with you."

2010-04-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

再一次看见你，开心你已走出过去。

原来分手是需要练习的，
时间久了会变得勇敢，
你慢慢出走，
我渐渐放手，
这不就是我们要的自由。
回头看，怕懦弱。
往前走，怕坠落。
但我一定能学会，
在想你的时候，
不难过。。。

除了读书，其余的时间就在练习忘记你

2010-04-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

weiwei no longer around........i miss the happy moments he has with both of us, i miss how i use to feed him despite u restricting me to feed him....

2010-03-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

finally had some time a blog......
well life has been really busy....
busy wif so many activities wif my club....
busy wif sch work.....
bazaar week......this time round was 3 days....
veri tiring...as serene n i were selling clothes again.....
sometimes whenever someone buys lunch takeaway for me,
i would always rem how u used to buy takeaway for me,
tend my stall for me,
feed me n ensure i m properly fed....
hmm today went for TH chinese concert,
one of the performers is our club committee,
went to support her.....it was nice n enjoyable event la....
but it reminded of u, taking me along wif u to TH dance production,
now, i kind of enjoy all these.....
but u r not wif me anymore.
sometimes i tot i see u around in sch,
but in a flash u were gone or perhaps u were nv there........
i guess i still miss u as much as in the past....

2010-03-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

As usual.......life as usual.....
still as hectic as ever.......
well recently a few people step into my life,
trying to make changes to my life,
but i juz couldnt accept them yet.
i miss u as i must say,
but i must move forward bravely in order for u to move forward too.
sometimes i juz wish for ur shoulder to cry on.
Had Mr Liang pin fu farewell party as we organised for him,
hmm i cried, i just couldnt bear to leave him,
he is the only teacher who is really concern abt me,
i hug him at the party and yes a hug really tells alot,
anyway i will see him again at NIE hehe.
yup also elected my next president,
hopefully she take the club to higher heights,
looking at her, i wonder juz how far did i go....
bazaar next wk, hopefully everything smoothly done.....
oh yah 2ml is ben n jerry free cone day,
tot of last yr we went to get the ice cream with sam n weijie.
i still miss u, even when i m so busy but sometimes a moment of u makes my life looks as if there is meaning to it.

2010-03-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

hmm these few days have realli been hectic,
slping onli 4 hours everyday,
i hope i can be strong to face life as i wake up everyday.
there are times when i realli need someone to tok to,
but i couldnt call u, sorri.
i realise 'talk less, less mistakes'
so much things had happen lately,
true as the outside world say abt me,
i am useless,
i m not a gd leader,
i onli know how to talk bad abt people
i am stubborn......etc
yes, i think i m these,
thats why talk less, less mistakes,
i should stop caring.
i am so tired of all these,
but i have to wake up everyday,
telling myself its ok,
its ok to just stop airing my opinions,
its ok to care less,
its ok to be dislike by everyone,
its ok to be alone in school,
its ok to be by myself.
its ok, i will be fine.
The other day went to Xin hui's father wake,
wanted to ask u to go but its ok,
we played mahjong at her place b4,
and now her dad is gone,
thankfully she is ok,
realli hope she is fine.
anyway at least sth that i m realli happy abt,
is to have my pic up on the chinese morning newspaper on sat n sun,
its for nus open house,
promoting chinese studies,
i choose another 2 gals to join me in the photoshoot,
waiting for the newspaper in a few hours time.......
contented.....

2010-03-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

时间会把我和你变成回忆
我以为的你爱我我爱你这完美的结局
我却变成了你最想忘记的回忆。

2010-02-28T20:56:00.000-08:00

I understood.
i always thought that as long as i tried my best to give u all my love,
so naive to think that 1 day u would come back to me.
but i was wrong
it was never the case.
the affections that u gave me,
the times we spent 2gether,
i will cherish them.
it has become a drag to both of us,
i m juz amazed that i m a hindrance to ur life,
stopping u frm moving on,
i shouldnt haf read ur smses,
but no worries, i understood.
u haf changed,
i grieve for the person of the past,
not the present.
i been to ur doorstep,
but i realli lost faith in u,
i can no longer trust u.
though i miss u alot n i still love u,
i prefer u move on.
its like everytime something happens,
u choose to leave,
other than leaving, can u salvage the situation?
u told me in the past that u wouldnt give up on us,
i m trying my best but u choose to leave the 2nd time,
leaving me wif a 2nd heartbreak
i duno how far i would go,
but much pain i gona endure,
having fever now, all thanks to u.
is it my fault?
yes, its all my fault,
my fault for hindering u frm pursuing ur own happiness.

2010-02-26T10:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i juz duno wat to say to u
u know, when i said u can do anything u wan,
it hurts my heart to say that,
i have to suffer all these in silence
yes, u can go all out and meet new people
but at the end of the day
pls dun make use of me
as a tool to ease ur boredom or ur needs.
yes, i am sad and jealous over things
but so what?
do u care?
i m disappointed but i m tryin my best to control myself
i lost faith,
right now i wanna devote more time in my studies.
Today, went out for gathering wif my primary sch gd friends
well we were talking abt ur lives,
and how i wish i could be like them
havin someone to call me, asking me what time i will be back
telling me to be careful,
sms u when i get back.
All these, i juz wish i could get them back.

2010-02-18T20:49:00.000-08:00

well i always thought that at least someone was realli true to me
but i was wrong.
what u said in your perspective differs from reality.
i admit i m glad that we somehow got back together,
maybe that is onli how i feel
but nevertheless, i am touched by the sweetness that we shared,
just holding hands, just going out together,
even cooking for me for the 1st time,
able to open my eyes and look at you in the morning,
it somehow revive my heart.
But guess what,
i saw ur sms.
i thought i can trust u wholeheartedly,
i tot as least in this world i can trust you,
but not anymore.
i duno what u treat me as
but i dun realli care now
u are free to know any one
u are free to date anyone
u are free to do anything u wan.
i m not jealous, juz heart broken
but i still cherish my love for u,
juz wan to be by ur side
juz wan to make u happy
its that simple.
love can be simple, i guess my love for u never changes.
time will heal everything.

2010-02-15T09:01:00.000-08:00

Stupid. Thats the word to describe me, am i right?
why should i even grieve?
i shouldnt even bother,
u can do anything u wan,
and that include hurting me.
to think how i much i did for u,
u took things for granted.
i felt so foolish and silly looking at myself like this.
yes, perhaps u r right,
i did u wrong n i deserve my retribution
but i dun deserve tat kind of treatment.
i should not care,
i should not be anymore naive.
although my heart aches for u,
pls dun take it to heart,
i am just a foolish fuck.
u know u can go do watever u wan,
pls dun feel obliged to give me an explaination
i am just a nobody,
i am just someone whose care and concern is wasted upon.
y not jus tel me to the face and ask me to fuck off.

2010-01-29T05:50:00.000-08:00

You didnt care.
or why should u care,
am i right?
i know i did wrong
but all these months of remorse
u think i m happy?
no, i can never be like the past.
all lies, all crap,
u r free to do anything u wan, u know that.
i m so disgusted wif myself, yes and the more wif ppl around me.
I hate this place, i hate myself, i hate the life i m leading,
i hate it, i smashed everything in my room,
i wan to get out of here or simply juz fuck off.

2010-01-28T02:03:00.000-08:00

Been really down these few days,
there are alot of things that i wan to tell u,
but sometimes u dun seem to care,
perhaps or even why should u care....
i m juz a nobody.
life is rather peaceful now,
studying all day long in my room,
sitting beside my window reading literature,
enjoy rather the loneliness of eating alone,
eating ice cream in the nite
munching on my black forest cake n watchin ur favourite tv shows.
How i wish u could break the balance in my life by disrupting my usual rountine.
Am i silly? sometimes when i hear slippers or footsteps passing by my room,
how i wish it is u knocking on my door,
i rem how i usually give u surprises when we initially got together.
perhaps i am getting to used to being alone,
all alone to relive the past that we once had.
some people kept askin if something had happened to me,
i didnt wan to tell them wat i m goin thru,
but i m thankful for their concern.
sometimes i am juz amazed at how much tears i have
can keep on crying for hours.
perhaps u think its because i didnt sleep well tats y i look so haggard
but in fact its because of how much i m crying.

2010-01-26T03:22:00.000-08:00

我知道我的爱一直都会存在，
没有你，泪停不下来，
你知道我多么不想说再见，
没有你，快乐都没了。
某一天我期待和你笑得灿烂，
回头看，爱其实还在。
时间过得好快，但思念却从未断过。
我想你。

2010-01-25T01:32:00.000-08:00

Dear, i know u r still angry wif me.
Move on, you said. But I know i cant
I jus wan to hold on to our memories, the past that we had
there are many bits and pieces of sweet images that I often look back upon.
Sometimes i wonder how i am getting by each day.
Put down everything, look at me, i wont repeat the same old mistakes again,
look at me from your heart.
i love u
I broke down again, guess i can onli drown my sorrows, drinking seem to be the onli way to allow me to slp, at least temporaily.

2010-01-24T22:17:00.000-08:00

I duno how to start but i know its time to wake up from this dream, back to reality.
Thank you for giving me memories that will hold a special place in my heart.
i just wanna say move on pls, take care of urself.
It pains my heart to see u like this, i know its tough and u lost all trust in everyone, but still there are sincere ppl around, juz open ur eyes and u will see them.
back to reality, back to studies, back to being alone, but still missing u....
不能和你一起，拥有喜悦和悲伤
不管走多远，步伐都没有力量
不能和你一起，走往幸福方向
孤单的身旁少了坚强
只有一份感伤。

2010-01-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

dear, been realli busy recently....
juz tat i rem our monthly anniversary tats y i drank tat nite.....
I have been keeping myself busy to forget what has happen...
不想拥有，因为害怕失去

who knows the pain i m going thru...

2010-01-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

been busy recently, busy with all the training sessions, busy with sch work, busy travelling from home to sch, at least it takes my mind off
还有，就是不停的不停的思念着你

2010-01-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

I realised happiness can be held onto, the hug that i get from you, happiness can be touched. you are my happiness.
i duno when i will have a relapse, as in i duno how long i can stay strong before breaking down again
i miss u...
只想说声对不起，i was watchin this tv series all along, it is realli emotional. If i were to have the chance to say sorry, i would say it to you. Your departure have changed me, i know its hard to trust me anymore but i just want to say I am Sorry.
How i wish u could appear infront of me...

2010-01-10T01:07:00.000-08:00

风信子原来代表歉意。。。
i m glad we came out again, went to watch movie.....it was realli a nice show, somehow i never expect the show to depict what we r goin thru, how i wish our ending could be like them in the show....happy ever after....
Many a times, i so feel the urge to hold on to u
Thanks so much coming out wif me.
somehow i realise u have changed.....perhaps i think too much
i still miss u so much.....

2010-01-07T23:02:00.000-08:00

yesterday, i got to the airport early, i waited outside, mixed feelings in me...the moment i saw u, i really wanna go all out n hug you but i didnt wan u to be unhappy. You wont know how happy i am when u r finally back, its like u r the only reason why i m getting on in life. Its been some time since i send u back to ur room, saw weiwei n baby too....had dinner wif u, all in the same usual environment but i know the feelings has changed.
you bought chocolates for me, rem the the 1st time u bought chocolates for me before u went back...
I just wan to let u know, i truly love u, i dun expect anything from you, i juz wan to love u, no matter where u r, my heart wll always be wif u.
I am sorry i didnt kept my promise, the pain is so painful that i have to find something to ease the pain, i took the scissors, cut n cut, finally i saw some blood, i am sorry but i cant control myself.....sorry
I m veri tired, i got no more strength to move on.

2010-01-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

为何两个相爱的人不能够在一起，而只能变成回忆。
我多么希望你会出现在我眼前。
就算忘记时间、忘记你，也忘不了我们有过的甜蜜。
我真的很痛，不知道哪儿是尽头，你给了我重心站起来的力量，但又把它带走，我真的没有力气再站起来了。。。

2010-01-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

如果能够放下，那就不是爱情了。。。
我任何事都能放弃，只有你，我做不到

2010-01-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

dear.....我累了，一辈子寻寻觅觅在找的东西，原来就在身边，我厌倦了。我现在渴望的是一份安定，一份安定的生活。你一开始就在那里等我，我会到了原点，我真的很想和你过一个平静的生活。

2009-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

Dear,
looking back at 2009, many things happened, there were ups and downs, though i guess downs more than ups but at least u were there when i need you.
There was school work that i can nv ever reach my target, no matter what i work hard, there were tears in my effort but i guess it doesnt matter anymore. Just wanna thank my teachers who have helped me along the way, its really tough n i disappoint them time and again, feel so sorry.
There were the ever trouble club activities, as in every time there would be new problems arising, its tiring when u realise that u r the onli one struggling to keep it going, but once every hurdle is overcomed, it realli has that much satisfaction. but how long can i keep it going?
There were my family and love ones, i dun wanna mention abt my family, its just not the right time, many things happen recently that i simply had enough, i juz wan my mum to be happy. my dearest friend Weijie, he is always there when i needed him, i guess i owe him a big Thank You, i think he has his fair share of problems, i should show him more concern, really.
Dear, there is you. I just duno how to start, we were so happy together until i foolishly destroyed our own happiness, i can nv forget the tough but sweetest journey of my life, it was tough but i knew u were there for me, u were always there for me, the darkest days of my life was during the few mths without u, i duno how i managed to get thru but that is not the life i wanted. I still cant let it go, i know u too, 2009 has come to an end, i just wanna say lets put everything behind, lets start a fresh in 2010, i really hope to go on another journey wif u, I seem to haf lose everything at the end of 2009, hopefully 2010 would be a better year for me n for you, what i wan is for us to be happy as before, thats all i wish for, really.
another year older, i just wish to have a simple contented life wif u.....

2009-12-30T10:57:00.000-08:00

dear, the pain is back.....
i got up at nite, heart wrenching.....i cant control myself.....
i cant afford to lose u, i lose u before, right now i just want to hold u tight, as tight to me.......
i wanna hold u in my arms again.....

2009-12-27T01:19:00.000-08:00

dear, today i watch a short tele movie, hmm its veri nice.
love can be so simple, though i duno what i can do for you in the future but whatever it is, i wan ur future to be happy.
我只是个soso的男生，但我对你的爱不是soso的。

2009-12-26T10:32:00.000-08:00

Dear, Thanks for calling me......i appreciate tat, its like the only warmth i haf receieve so far.....
jus tat no one cares, no one realli cares....
my fever juz got better but not sorethroat.....not feeling well...
i miss u.....i rem the last time i went to the airport to wait for u to be back, its not abt how long i waited, its the person whom i m waiting for, the joy when i get to see you.
I realise joy can be so simple
I just wan to wait for u, no matter how long becos i m waiting for u, i wan to see u, tats my onli happiness....

2009-12-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

I am losing my senses........
I actually had the courage to pick up a knife, i could feel the pain but i juz stop there....
i duno how to carry on wif life without you
just what m i doin?! sometimes i could not control myself.....

2009-12-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Dear, I really need you at this moment......
I duno how to carry on wif life anymore.....
I am really Sorry....
I miss you.....
为何我们真诚的对人家，人家却要伤害我们？
为何人这么可怕？
dear, i know we are both really heartbroken over what happen, but i realise my mistake, i really wish to repent....u should know how devastated i am the past few mths without you, pls give me juz 1 more chance, i cant simply let go....

2009-12-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

Trust is built over time......but it can be destroy overnight....
dear...i miss u......
i wonder how you are......
i miss ah pao......
i miss how you tickle me to laugh.....
sorry....
i juz hate myself......fucking hate myself...

2009-12-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

How are you?? its been awhile since we talk, hmm didnt dare to call you, for fear of raking up the past, didnt want you to feel the pain again.
I admit that there are a few people dating me, but i didnt had the courage to step forward, I just cant.....
recently, someone held a special place in my heart, but i know nth would come out of it, i am contented to at least spend sometime wif this person, it takes my mind off you. I m afraid of getting deeper into this sort of relationship, i realli am....
I miss you....
I hate myself....juz a loser.....

2009-12-14T01:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry. Finally i spoken up, I was being true to my own feelings, I dont deny having feelings for you, just that i dun realli deserve your love, i am glad that we expressed our feelings for each other.
我们的爱情能成立吗？
dear, suddenly i realise i needed you so much, i realli dun wish to give up on our love. The memories kept coming back recently, i hope u r happy wif ur life now....
I am juz tired of all these....perhaps i should juz keep my distance from people? I should spent sometime to think what i wan, i m realli lost....
its painful at times but just allow me to undertake all the suffering alone...because I m realli scare..
i miss u...

2009-12-13T02:57:00.000-08:00

今天找回了那失去已久的感觉，真的好久都没有被人疼，今天，他握了我的手，他的一举一动，让我暂时忘了你。
但是我真的没有胆量去接受别人的好，我有那个资格吗？我不知道我还相信爱情吗，还是我太天真了？
我有勇气去重心开始吗？
可能我不应该接受他对我的好，我不想伤害他，我也不想伤害你。
谢谢那些对我好的人，真的谢谢你们，谢谢Lester每当我不开心时，总会慰问关心我，谢谢。。。
记得你跟我说过的一句话，我是值得被真心对待的。
我好想放开一切，勇敢去爱，但会有谁愿意陪我走出去呢？
Lester 对不起。。。真的对不起，刚才和你说了一些心事，希望你会明白。。。
怕你爱上我，请不要，我给的真的不多，请原谅我的懦弱。

2009-12-12T02:43:00.000-08:00

是否该放下呢？好希望我有那份勇气，去重心开始。
其实每一个人都只要那份简单的快乐，渴望被爱情拥抱，但是又害怕被爱情受伤，有时感觉好像个傻瓜。
我想我没那么坚强。。。
我只希望你能快乐。。。

2009-12-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

考试结束了，自己把自己搞得好忙，但是不管怎样，我心里还是惦记着你。
记得你叫我往前走，说得容易，但我真地做不到，我不能说放下就放下。
最近认识了J，他也刚刚分手，他是个好情人，他和我分享了好多对爱情的真理。
我真的好想你，每一晚还是用眼泪来想你。你好吗？
最近假期，好空闲，有时觉得好寂寞，除了由training之外，有时就自己出去走走，不然就呆在家里看电视，还有跑步。。最近好喜欢运动，可能运动让我暂时忘记一切，让我心情好一点。
我只想听你的声音，好想。。。。。
我对你的思念，你听得到吗？

2009-11-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

最近真的好忙，考试好多东西读啊，但是总觉得压力没有那么大，可能渐渐学会放下了吧。过去的一个星期，我忙到几乎没有时间想你，可能是好事吧，至少它让我忙碌一点。有时就到图书馆去，一个坐在那里，一个人坐巴士，一个人吃饭，一个人在空荡的房间，有时还会不知觉想起你在我的房间的一举一动。

最近听到你生病了，好担心，好想立刻跑去抱住你，真的那份温暖的怀抱，我还很想念。

还记得我买过一双鞋子给你吗？当时还在想，会不会因此就失去你，因为送鞋子就是送你走的意思，但当时没想那么多，只想让你开心。我曾说两个人在一起不许要很有钱，够用就好了。有时对的你的不信任，其实是我的没信心，可能是我不信爱，或者我无法信任自己。

上一次和你说话，我们都哭了，我知道很辛苦，为何两个相爱的人要如此？我知道这一些都是我的错，但我真的后悔了，你叫我去追寻自己的幸福，但对不起我真的做不到，每一天我们的回忆一直涌上心头，我真的好想你，我很想回到你身边但我不想再伤害你，可能如果我真的爱你，我应该让你快乐，我应该放手，让你能找到你的快乐，这是我唯一能为你做的，而我，我只有一个幸福，失去了就没有了，我会珍惜我们的回忆，你会永远留在我心里，我真的好累，你知道我真的好想和你说我心里的话，但我真的没有勇气，对不起，我希望你可以快乐，对于我自己已经无所谓，我只想你快乐。。。

2009-11-15T03:04:00.000-08:00

周末是外婆的生日，我们全家都到vivocity的餐馆去吃，有十几样菜色，好好吃。我还是一样不喜欢应酬，不习惯和阿姨们闲聊，就坐在那里，慢慢的吃。。。。。在vivocity看到了每一个人都成双成对的，好怀念我们每一次都回到vivo去。记得我们刚认识的时候，就去了vivo，那时还不太认识你，但你却靠了过来，一直豆我，这还是我第一次享受恋爱的滋味，在你的怀抱中，我感觉到幸福。还记得在你房间的那一夜，you pop the question ，我不会忘记那一夜。我本来不相信爱情，但是你的诚意感动了我，我知道你一定会给我幸福，那时候答应你，我好开心，因为我知道会有一个人愿意牵着我的手，走下去。

现在还蛮习惯这样子和你说话，尽管你听不到，但却能减轻我对你的思念，或者这只是一个害怕寂寞，不敢面对现实的人在砖个洞，一种懦夫的行为。

在家里读不了书，也没有我最爱的mobtv看，不知道就坐在那里发呆。回来这里暂时读一点书，等一下就回去了，现在就只有读书，以前你还会帮我喊累，但现在都没有了。

有时我还觉得自己很傻，可能你已经放下，追求自己的幸福，我还在这里兜兜转转。可能我真的不懂爱，但对你的思念和这些回忆都是真的，尽管别人笑我傻，但这一切只有你知道，只有你知道这些回忆的存在，只有你和我分享一点一滴，我是很傻，但我不介意。

我曾经对你说过，已经好久都没有人呵护我，别人总是以为我很坚强，但他们不懂，有时候也想被人疼，这大概是我的悲哀吧。不说了，回去读书了，希望你开心。

2009-11-13T01:43:00.000-08:00

今天，是fass80anniversary的晚会。这是我第二次穿formalwear真的很不习惯但我觉得很好看。我和几位club的人一起去，好多东西吃。
喧闹过后便是回到我的空间。我还去找楼下的icecream 吃，好满足。
我还记得你生日的时候我们到圣陶沙一间很漂亮的餐厅去吃晚餐，夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。我们吃的很开心，然后还到附近的海边走走、散步。整个感觉好美，这还是我第一次为一个人筹备如此的生日庆祝会。
我知道就算哭也挽不回我们的爱，但我真的很无助，我不知道。
今天你打给我，叫我帮你照顾weiwei n baby,我真的好久没看到她们了，还记得baby是因为你很喜欢，我才去买给你，给你惊喜，当时真的没有想那么多，只知道要让你开心。
可是我无法控制，每当听到你的声音，我就无法控制。我还怕去面对自己，我的意志总是会被寂寞并吞，我真的彻底失败了。。。可能你已经慢慢放下，但我却不行，好多回忆，你就是我生命的一部分了，要割舍，真的好痛。

2009-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

离开你的第39天。今天是上课最繁忙的一天，从12点到6点。不知不觉，就觉得我都是一个人在搭巴士，一个人去上课。今天算是着学期最后的一天，总觉得时间过好快，你不在的时间真的飞逝。最近迷上吃楼下买的雪糕，是yingxin介绍的，真的吃了好舒服，很满足，原来幸福可以如此简单。。。。
读了一整晚的书，好累，好想和你说说话，还记得每一次都会和你发牢骚。现在生活很简单，就是读书，还是读书。。好像连自己的时间也没有了。。。最近club的事情都还可以应付，只是有时候觉得好累，不知道，就觉得其他人好像很少体谅到我的感受，但希望我会坚强。。。
这个礼拜六是ahma 的生日，我们会出去吃。有时妈妈还会问到你，就让我想到上次bazaar你还和妈妈聊得很开心，妈妈对你的印象很好。。。
我要睡了，可能你永远也看不到这一切，我只能用眼泪来让我自己入眠，哭累了就睡，我真的想你。。。。

2009-11-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

终于我鼓起了勇气。只从你离开的第37天，我真的不知道我的生活变成了如此般寂寞。原来我们在一起的时光是如此快乐，享受的，但如今一切都化成空。有时候某些片断会浮现，我的心就痛，可能我这一辈子都不会醒来，我以为我可以放下，但其实我根本做不到。实在有太多的回忆可以去追寻，我们的约定与理想都在一瞬间化为乌有，我一直希望放了爱能让你更快乐，但我真的很痛苦。你最近还好吗？

我很不好，功课越来越难，无论我多么的付出，自己的努力每一次都白费，我哭了好多次，我真的累了，我不知道我还有没有那个斗志去克服这一切。我真的想过我适合在这里吗？以前有问题的时候，都可以找你倾诉，但现在只有我一个人。

有时候都回找weijie出来逛街，他给了我很多鼓励，只有和他在一起的时光，我才能够暂时忘记你。但是有时候朋友的陪伴，真的低不过你的一半。我想起以往每次去吃夜宵的情景，我想起了鸡扒饭，想起以前张开眼睛就能看到你，但。。。对不起我真的接不下去

我只想让你知道，我们走过的道路，共同的回忆，会刻在我心里，我只希望哪能快乐。

2009-05-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

hey...yeap a new face to my blog.....kinda like it....haha anyway juz got back from malaysia...Redang......haha hmm its quite an 'experience' la er..........well went wif Karl, we took a coach up to malaysia, quite far de.....about 10 hours of bus journey n its at nite lo.....cant slp at all so tok to karl n listen to music....actually looking out at the field atnite with the moon light shining down, it can be quite smoothing....anyway we got to the bus station then got to find a bus tat brings us to the jetty....the bus journey is 3 hours.......haha yeap so there we go again...finally reach the jetty so left 20 mins of speedboat journey to our island!! by the time we got to the island, its already noon...as in we spend half a day travelling.....................well this is my 1st time to an island resort, my gosh, the beach is so nice....i mean its beyong words tat can describe the amazing feeling of steppin on tat beach.........we check in......er i think our room okie la....ah haha its like chalet......yeap but its facin the sea so nice view la....our lunch, breakfirst n dinner are all buffet styles.......their spread quite average but their dessert cannot make it haha.....but still we enjoy the food la......cos all day long, we can only wait the meals to come as there is practically nothing to do ..................

yeap such is the case, the first day, after lunch, we then went to the beach......i lay my towel on the sand n sun tann......while karl went swimming n snokeling......haha after tat we went to slp.....simply tired la after tat long journey.....then its dinner time n there we just left there starin at each other.......there are no entertainment at nite....no tv....no nothing.......so we juz slp.......

2nd day...their breakfirst is really hearty......alot of things to choose from....yeap then we went to take photos at the beach...the beach is very pretty as the water is crystal clear, huge rocks surround the island....its a nice quiet place....... after tat went sun tannin again....then me n karl went canoeing......i really haf phobia of seas.....i duno why...we wore life jackets then we tried to get off the boat n float on the water but i duno y i simply cant float!!!!! its damn scary la......like there is nothing beneath that u can step on n there is this insecurity in me......i really fumble.....i m really scared for the first time.....i guess i know how its like to drown to death......tat kind of feelin.....haiz......anyway we got back to shore......thank god....haha then went for lunch n after tat karl went out to sea with others to the other islands for snokelling......while i alone sun tann on the beach.....n at the swimming pool.............its quite nice when u r all alone....doing the things u like n enjoying the peace n sea breeze, the sun n the sand.....the sea water tooo.....its relaxing la......after karl cam back....we went to explore the other side othe island n there was another resort there.....hehe there was a supermart....i was thrilled cos there is nothing to do atnite n everywhere is close so we nid to stock up......bought a few snacks....yeap after dinner again, we got nothing to do.....luckily i brought a few magazines there to read.....yup the next day, we slept late......then check out then begin our journey back......we met 2 other female travellers at the bus stop waiting for bus.....we duno wat time the bus will arrive....u know its like those kampong bus haha.....we got to the bus.....along the way we can see villagers.....yeap its nice la...then got back to the town bus stop.....as we got to wait for our bus atnite so we hang out together wif the 2 travellers.....yeap yeap........back to singapore after another torturous journey....hehe

well overall i enjoy my stay there at the island....except fot tat travelling time.....hmm i juz feel tat the life on the island is very simple.....peaceful......everyone seem to be contented wif wat they have.......its nice la.....i think i see alot during this trip n i m happy tat karl is with me throughout the journey......i think one should learn to be contented......i still haf lots to learn!

2009-05-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

hey yup i am back......finally after so loong.......hehe well the whole of this sem was veri busy wif school work......but this sem abit slack haha so i hope i get gd grades for exams........anyway therre was a 1 week break during end feb or ealy march n i managed to squeeze out enough money to go taiwan!!!! yeap this would be my 3rd time there....me n weijie kinda last minute then decide to go but i like such an arrangement, like we decide on the spot n the next few days we r gone...........haha we went for 5 days 4 nites by Cathay pacific...cheap air tix lol.....again we went there to shop, to eat!!!!!i am missing their meat rice, spicy sausages and fried chicken!!! we stayed in 1 room and there was this channel 98 which features gals n guys doin tat sort of thing n its damn gross haha........plus there is always a recurring ghost movie advertisement tat everytime we saw tat advertisment we will scream........i really wonder if our neighbours heard us......haha....yup 5 days we went all over taipei city to shop......from day to nite....and the weather was nice cooling......hm i really enjoy my trip there.....so we r savin money for our next trip haha......

ok....this whole sem i have been kept busy by my chinese club (nus) hmm there was alot of dramas going on...n i really dun wan to bother abt it.....well i was elected as the president of the club for the coming academic year so yup there are alot of things which i haf to see to...................................

hmm some thoughts, well i got really upset by the fact tat some people do not really understand the meaning of life..as in is life all about making money, attaining sucess or fame? i dun think so......i think life is all about experiencing, to do the things u like! i wan to say, i dislike people who looks down on jobs like cleaners, even macdonalds service crew.......i mean all humans r equal, there is no disparity..........i dislike uni students or whoever who thinks tat they can get a veri gd job when they graduate, my take would be so wat if u r a uni student? there is nth to be proud off......and it does not matter if u earn much or less....wat matters is u enjoy the job n u enjoy ur life.....i apsire to be a chinese teacher which many people would think tat a guys should not teach, especially chinese as teachers dun haf prospect but so wat? i enjoy it n it fulfils my life, i dun care how much i m goin to earn but i definitely enjoy wat i m doin..................n i seriously believe havin 1 best friend beats many hi bye friends......i admit i dun haf much friends but i m contented wif wat i haf.......rather than havin so many friends but in the end u still feel empty or lonely inside.....there is no point actin as if ur life is fun n wat......to me its nth.....yup my life is at times boring but everyday i find it meaningful as i dun haf to put on a cover........so to end, just be urself, i really wonder y some people r so disgusting?! yeap try to be urself n find meaning in everyday life......if u dun believe wat i said, compare la....r u really happy deep down there???

2009-02-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

hey.....yeap......back......hmm been busy recently.....juz had my club bazaar a week ago......eh quite sucessful as it is our club's 1st organised bazaar......hehe yup and its my fruit of labour....i started from scatch....as i m the one in charge of looking for vendors.....it was really stressful as i didnt had any contacts before......i didnt know who to call....then serene helped me by supplying some vendors contact number to me....yup i called them one by one.....there are sub comms to help out in calling but they dun seem to be able to secure any vendors....... hmm yup total abt 30 plus vendors, majority is contacted by me.....i also called the logistics company....measure the exact floorplan.....i remember all the work was dump on me as my club members all went back to malaysia......haiz......but still i manage to pull through......on the day of the actual bazaar.....everything turn out fine.....hehe we collected the full payment from the vendors and yeap we earned money for the club! i also set up a stall for myself, my mum and serene......haha my mum was selling nuts and new year goodies....i was sellin t shirts n kaya toast eh in fact clothes sell better than food lo! argh my kaya toast business was a flop.......haiz anyway serene was also selling clothings....yeap she earn damn alot lo............we also had the milo van to come support our event.........attracted crowd la......hmm the 2 days bazaar was tiring..........didnt had much sleep.......me n serene were like thinking of ways to improve our sales........haha it was a great sucess la.......i manage to do it despite our people's 'remarks'...............yup

halo.......yup its chinese new yr!!!!!!!haha hm i feel tat this yr CNY like veri fast hor........i didnt even had time to sit down n tok to my relatives............its always rushing lo...........but i still got my huge bonus la....haha hongbaos!!! i really nid the money hehe.......

well.................school is begining to start becoming hectic.......haiz.......but i shall work hard this sem!!!! argh......must.........

hmmm i went out wif Jerald a few times, we went to walk a trail route that connects bukit timah nature reserve and mandai!....ohhh i tell u i think its the longest walk ever......we walk for more than 2 hours lo.....n the trail was like no cement walking path, its all gravel and sand......and the ground is not even lo.....got climb watever......and its in the forest......cos we toook a special route so there is not one around us....we are like exploring......hmm but its nice walkin in such nature reserve.......i luv the sun and the water.........hmm it also reminds me of my army out field days! gosh its like route march....haha n we saw dead snakes.......scared me to death lo.......yup i would wan to go again la......haha its fun though its tring n i got blisters.....hehe

yup tats some updates.......hehe tata

2009-01-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

Do you take me for granted?

Perhaps I am not part of your life.

Am I deceiving myself?

I know I should not ask for much,

but I still long for your warmth,

I still prefer the old you.

My heart bleeds and bleeds

but will anyone understand the agony I am in?

2009-01-07T07:02:00.000-08:00

I remembered Love isit possession.....

but somehow I felt things were begining to take for granted.

I guess I have really fallen in love this time,

to give without take,

I just want you to be happy,

simple as that,

even if it means sacrificing my happiness.

8 months,

I thought wow its a nice number,

but will it goes on?

for how long?

When you were away,

I felt so emptied,

as if losing all directions.

I look upon the day you return,

so much emotions filled my heart

yet I didnt had the courage to bring it up.

My feelings,

my love were taken for granted,

in this instance,

I felt so insecure,

I wonder who is really truly being true to me?

or is this all an act?

I am confused,

I am hurt by my past

but does anyone knows?

I do not wish to be hurt again.

I wonder who can ride me out of my past,

to ease my heart?

I know its tiring

but isit it all about love.

One thing I know,

I still love you.

2008-12-30T06:41:00.000-08:00

hey....hmm looking ahead at 2009 but i still cant resist looking back at 2008....lotsa things happen during the year......yup i remember juz the begining of the year i was still in national service ahaha suffering under the useless hands of many......finally i waited 2 years for this day, ORD day hehe i finally regain my freedom, i do not need to suffer in slience, i do not need to obey useless leaders and i do not need to disobey my principles in life. hmm it do sound serious when u r under that kind of situation when all u can do is to wait n fulfil ur own role, i dun like tat even when something goes wrong, we cant change it just becos we do not haf the power to do so....i juz guess there is something wrong wif the system.....yup i m free......hmmmmm i went on to look for a part time job while i was waiting for university to start sch.....n i got to do sales at adidas both at chinatown OG and citylink.....its my first time doing sales and its not easy.....but i quite enjoy it cos i m such a nice person haha people love my service lo....and it has great satisfactory getting complimented for my good service..........well i also made a great bunch of friends cum collegues hehe they r so nice........i really learn alot during my work experience there....yup then i join my uni freshmen orientation camp.....hmm its kinda fun for young people haha i dun think it suits me lo.....perhaps i m old already.......hehe then finally school starts! well in uni, its quite different la.......my peers told me i would need to adapt to the system.......somehow rushing through the semester, i m really exhausted....my grades are quite ok onli....but i will work harder next sem.......heheee

meanwhile i also moved into uni hostel....eh its a totally new experience living on my own....everything i have to see to it myself....but i kinda enjoy my own little space la...its nice and cosy n ya i have nice people like Karl who would always buy supper for me! stayin in hostel cant live without supper yup.....err it can be quite lonely at times so thanks for Karl for acompanying me....i am glad 2008 i have u.....to go through the ups and downs with me......lastly, the bazaar that i m i charge is gona take place early next year......its my sweat n tears....i started from scatch yup so i pray that all goes well.........

hmm i guess 2008 is a learning year for me......learning to grow up.....learning to be myself.....perhaps due to my resistance to mixed around or curry favour people, i lose out on many opportunities but wat i truly wan is to be true to myself, i can say i dun haf any close friends in uni....i juz haf a few friends that i known for a few years but they r veri veri gd friends.....guess tats enough...yup...hmm hopefully 2009, I can learn to be more contented, learn to be strong, hope i can achieve better results next year....hehee happy new year!

2008-12-29T09:51:00.000-08:00

hey....yup enjoying my holidays......recently i went to the zoo wif Karl and his friends.....free entry so go lo......n its been over 10 years since i last visited the zoo.......well the zoo has indeed change alot.....alot for the better la, there are now many food outlets there......we walked around and we saw the notorious white tiger haha...n hey it really arouse a sense of fear in you as in i duno how to explain but when u see the white tiger, u will be scared of the unknown yup.........i also went to see the penguins and polar bear....so cute la.......we also watch the elephant show......but my favourite was of course the kidz world!! haha i remember 10 years ago when i visited the zoo, the most memorable thing was the kidz world as it had lotsa playground and many cute little animals.......but now, dun haf le.......haiz change le....there is now a water theme park for kidz which i almost wanted to go down to play water oso haha.......then there is KFC n gone....no more as in where is my little chicks n deers?? the feelin is kinda lost ah......yeap we got up so early like 8am to go to the zoo.....spent the whole day there loooking at animals, oh yah we also went to the butterfly park which butterflies fly all over u.....damn coool hehe....yeap the entire day is veri draining, yup took alot of pictures too.............but something took me off as in i was completely engross in it or taken to somewhere esle by it, it is the reservior and the clouds and the sky....the whole picture is soooo out of nowhere....i cant explain but i m truly touched by such a scene....its so nice to embrace such beautiful sight.....yup i am always longing for a peace of mind....yeap long day haha tired...................................

hmm ok juz last sunday, i went wif Weijie to again Marina barage......hehee that time we didnt had a camera to take nice nice pictures so this time round we brought one n the sun was blazingly hot....ya la hot enough to sun tann liao.....anyway its camwhore time hehe.....hey marina barage is damn nice to take pictures u know.....the scene is beautiful.....especially the grass patch on top...it so carefree kind of feeling...we took pictures jumping around haha cos there was this guy who was also posing jumping here n there so we follow n the pictures come out quite nice haha...weijie also say next time must take more of such jumping photos......haha hm the sun was great n the green pasture makes it even more alluring as if it is glowing.....i like the feeling, sitting upon the grass patch, looking up above the blue sky n the white clouds, enjoying the breeze n the sun.....thinking of nothing esle....peace of mind....yup we also went to the fountain areas where many kids were playing water there.....haha we took offf our shoes n slip into the water too...haha we are like big kidz.....anyway we really took lotsa nice n artistic photos hehee waiting to upload......hmmm after tat as usual went shopping at cityhall......n roaming around.....arghh everywhere is havin sale while i m broke....haiz....hmm today went to find Karl, he is leaving 2ml for malaysia....haiz hate to say good bye but he will be back....i will take care of the hamsters....haha yeap the year is almost coming to an end........gosh its soooo fast...........dotz

2008-12-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

hey.....2008 coming towards an end.... again i would like to share top 5 albums of the year....

1) Rui En - United Nations

2) Renee Chen - Miracles

3) Dai Ai Ling - Angel Wings

4) Evan Yo - Search Evan Yo

5) Elva Hsiao - 3 Faced Elva

Yeap this 5 albums are my favourites.....especially Rui En, cos i waited 6 years for her.....n oso Renee.....i waited 5 years for her.....yup yup

2008-12-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

How to love that deem complete?

How to love that will last forever?

Forgive me,

I dun wish to follow others.

I dun know how to act loving dovey,

its just not me.

How to love that touches you?

How to love that will not hurt others?

Perhaps I dun really understand love.

But forgive me,

I really dun wish to follow others.

2008-12-17T07:05:00.000-08:00

hey....yup been rather busy these holidays cos there is simply lotsa gatherings.....haha spending alot recently...i m really broke this time round......not that i dun have money but i dun wanna eat into my savings, i juz need to limit myself yeap....hmm recently went out wif my primary school best friends Guoquan, Jiayin, Xinhui and Serene.......yup its actually the first time we r mitin so early...11am!!! haha and yes as usual everyone is late.....haiz anyway we went to sing Kbox.....haha n everyone says my singing improve haha ya la secretly practice at home wahaha! yup the kbox lunch package includes lunch too...their lunch not too bad la.....and the best singer is still Xinhui....haha

after kbox, having no where to go, we then decided to help GQ find a wallet for his friend...its so difficult....i mean we really tried many many high end branded stores...and its kind of tiring but it makes me wonder why so many ppl will spent the kind of money on high end brands products? yes, i dun deny the high quality finished goods but in my opinion, being clad in high end products does not really make you one high end product of the society nor does it makes you especially good looking........i prefer seeking something that suits my taste, something that can show my personality, its true that ur dressing reveals who u r and ur personality.....i wanna show who i am through my way of dressing and it defintitely does not involve brands like Gucci or LV yup simple cheap things can also bring out high end fashion, i think the most important thing is to find your personality and where you really stand...............no point showing off what branded you have....cos in my eyes, they are nothing. well this is again my own opinion! hehee...

yeap Gq finally bought his stuff and he headed to Serene's house..so long nv go there le.....and we saw her mum........haha we were really scare of her cos it was believed that her mum would chase after us with her chopper! haha but she didnt...in fact she was nice......hehe we went to the poolside.....Gq had to leave early so we went to Great world city to have dinner........n yes i have to listen to 3 women talking abt boyfriends...........haha anyway it was nice getting together again.......we also took alot of pictures......heeee

2008-12-04T09:13:00.001-08:00

hey......finally after the exams.....yeah.......eh..yup some updates........Rui En's album is out now at all cd ramas.......pls go get 1............n yup me n weijie went to attend Rui En's autograph session at suntec city......damn fun......she is so........pretty? haha hmm exams are over at last after abt 4 mths of torture.....but i think when the results are out, i will eventually die......haha yeap moving out of my hostel for the holidays.......tiring......hmm yup i can now do watever i like......hehe well this short break is for me to recharge........i wanna sun tann......run!......slack.....dream.....shopping.....eat........everything! heheeeeee..............well some thoughts recently, hmmm perhaps its juz me la as in does one really needs manymany friends? i dun believe in quatity...i believe in quality.....tats why i have onli these few friends around me but tats enough.....i m happy wif tat.......in some sense, people are always seeking for more, more money, more parties, more fun........well i choose to believe in doing things tat will really make u happy...happy into the heart n not juz by the surface......i dun need all these seriously.......hm maybe i m contented wif a simple life, returning to as simple as possible.........I hope people around me understand tat.....n the kind of person i m......yeap n if u dun agree then its ur business.......i am myself.....

2008-11-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

hey.....yeap nothing much to say cos exams r round the corner!!!!!! haha but still please do support 'By my Side' by Rui En and Rui En's second album is popping out soon so yeap do support.....Rui En's 2nd album is called 《共和国》...慢舞 is her new song yup enjoy!!!!!tata

2008-11-02T10:23:00.001-08:00

hey.....................its been a long while....hmm back to blog.....well my life is surrounded by assignments....essays.....cca......yup time really flies when i am in uni......yup and in about a month's time, i will be having my holidays!! yup......hmm sat went out wif Karl......its been some time since we went out 2gether.....i really enjoy our outing.....we went to Vivocity...went to eat pizza hut then watch movie......we watch 'Nights in Rodanthe'..........sob sob it is freaking sad la.......an couple separated by death......it didnt have a happy ending......haiz........yup we also walk around vivo haha with him prohibting me from buying anything hehe ya la i need to restrict my expenditure yeap no money le.............then i drove him back........eh there is another show.....'by my side' by Rui En.......orrhhhhh damn nice.....but it is also veri sad case......yup hmmmm i realise people always wan more......they wan more money, more power, more enjoyment......but in pursuing such stuff, does tat mean when u obtain alot of money then u will be happy?? i dun think so.......i think tat being contented wif life is gd......a simple life is gd..........i juz wan to keep things simple......yeap

2008-10-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

hey.....its been a long time.......haha really busy.......the kind of busy which i cant describe.....anyway today a fri, went to mit my secondary sch gd friends Meilian, Kevin and Yiu Yiu at tiong barue after my class.....hm its been really quite some time since i last saw them...i think for yrs lo......well we r very happy to mit up as we r goin to Layhong's baby 1 mth celebration.....gosh...layhong didnt even tell us she got married and she already has a 1 yr old daughter Jo and this is her 2nd baby....its a boy.....haha we had a hard time finding her place.....and she actually invited many people.....mostly her relatives la......they also got buffet catered......and their house also veri new....haha yup everything was fine la.....hmm haha have not seen layhong for ages....she has certainly put on weight......haha but her pattern still very cute.....oh her husband was also from our same secondary sch and a few years her senior......haha oh her 1 yr old daughter Jo is veri cute leh.......her cheeks like 2 small little buns.......veri nice to touch haha.......really veri cute....and she likes me lo....always want me to carry her....but i dun like to carry babies so i juz play wif her.......layhong 2nd baby still veri young....so cannot play wif him 1st haha......the 4 of us sat at a corner while layhong is busy entertaining people, we started talking abt our secondary sch life......haha which is something that i will always remember......the whole group of us......alot of funny things happen in the past and its really hilarious......i haven laugh tat much since duno when.........really la.....haha then layhong finally had time for us...so we took pictures.......and we can confirm that this is not s shotgun marriage.........haha yup......yup ohhhh her babies r so cute........seeing her having such a nice simple life, i m happpy for her........hm ya and its nice talking to them too.........we really had a wonderful sch life back then......yup looking at the people around me changes.....i feel so hmm weird?! yeap perhaps i do change too.......whatever the case, we will ask layhong out next time and bringing her kids haha.........

2008-09-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

hey.....hmm happy happy....this week is recess week so no lessons!! yeah but when i saw the amount of readings tat i muz complete.....i must say i m in deep shit haha.....serious but i will try my best to complete it.......well today went to sentosa wif Karl! yippy....hehe so long nv go there le.....hmm the place holds many memories lo......yeap we went to tanjong beach......lay on the sand.....it was veri quiet.....till i fall asleep....haha hm a pity tat today's sun not veri good.....but stilll got abit of sun...cloudy la.....haiz well well....i really have a phobia for seas...so dun ask me to go too deep into the water......yup but splashing water was fun haha....hmm we bought grapes earlier on so we sat at the beach....looking at the sea while soakin in the sun, eating our big big grapes.....tats life ah.....oh...cant go to bintan, sentosa also can lo.......difference is veri great hor......yup after tanning....we went to bath.....didnt do much though i would like to ride bicycle.....tour the island, enjoy the sunset, haf dinner by the sea......next time ba! yeap came back stilll got lotsa stuff to do.......hmm too stress.....haha so i always find Kevin to go jogging wif me...cos he stay near me in our hostel area.....but he is always so slow...argh.....ya ya tired...gona slp....dreamland.........hah guess i m too bored......

2008-09-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

hey.....hmm been busy all these while studying, sch activities and going out! haha yup studies is terrible....readings list kept piling up lo.....duno when can finish reading....but i m used to the NUS envrionment le la.......as in the academic life like tutorial n lectures n other stuff......yup my CCA's been kind of a headache.....haha lotsa stuff to do....as in we haf many activities to work on....yup n goin out too.....sometimes wif Serene....some wif Kevin....some wif Weijie.....n wif Karl too......hmm i m neglecting my studies.....sometimes i juz feel so bad by throwing my work aside.....ya anyway today my mum was havin a BBQ session organised by her colleagues......it was below my block.....hmm so i invited karl over to eat....hehe as there was not many people, we get to eat more haha n the food quite average....oh i long time nv eat bbq food le....n i wanna play wif the fire n food but could not find the chance.......haha hmm after eating then brought Karl to my house....to my room....but he was complaining abt the heat......even when the aircon is on lo....haha so we went to book movie tix n out we went to tiong barue plaza.....we went to watch 'Mama Mia'............hey its been such a long time since i watch such a bimbo kind of show........i mean its veri funny lo......n its kind of musical......the songs r veri nice too.....n wat is best is the scenery in the movie......oh gosh...the deep blue greenish sea.....the sun....the blue clear sky n the beach..........how i wish i can be in such an amazing natural feature......tat reminds me, when m i going to Bintan?!!! argh been nagging on this for years le........it has always been my little wish to go to a beach resort......hmmmmm yup the movie is great...i love it....yup after movie then had a chat wif Karl at mac.....hmm i must say tat there r alot of things that i hate to do but i must do......my life isit goin tat well......i wanna do the things i like....but i cant....perhaps some people juz dun understand me......wat i seek in life is veri simple......juz wana lead a simple life n do the things i like......money is not everything.....i dun seek the point of earning alot of money....i juz wan to be happy......

2008-09-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

hey......haha finally back to blog......been really busy with my school life.....hmmm apart from studies, lotsa readings.......mid term test cuming......haiz haha yup i m oso engaged in cca's......hm i joined the nus chinese studies students society (ncsss) yup i m in publicity so really alot of stuff to do....n we r organisin lotsa activities n programmes so gota prepare cards, posters......yeah i design my 1st poster....haha yup then got to pasta all over the campus too....damn tired....not enough slp too.....then soon i gona join volleyball wif my friends...more stuff to do lo......yup hmm i m so cope up wif my work tat i realise i haven step out of campus for a veri long time......cos i m juz shuttling btw sch n my hostel......really lost touch wif the world outside........hmm yup finally i went out wif Karl today.......we went tiong barue plaza to watch movie.......hehe we watch 'wall e' haha eh veri cute movie.........yup nice la......i think the message it is transmiting is veri significant lo.......do watch it.........hmm yup

2008-08-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

hey.....yup Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!! ahaha yup 23 august........every year 18 yrs old......hehe hm i think this yr birthday quite happy......or i should say veri happy.....hehe cos i got my most wanted birthday present tat is my drivin license!!!!!!!! haha freakin happy....i rem tat day which is tue, i tot i was abt to fail the test but hey hey the tester said i pass.......i was damn nervous.....but well i pass....tat is really beyond the imaginations....i wanna jump n scream cos i knew i wanted it veri badly.......yup the following day i went home to get my dad's car haha he went overseas so muz grab the opportunity.....i told my brother n then i drove to sch...... yeah.....eh Kevin n Serene sat my car.......n there is this cash card incident which i panic like siao...cars many line up behind me n my cashcard not enough money then stuck there...gosh lucky kevin borrow frm his friend then wat a relief.......yeah later on went wif Serene to VIVO to eat.....we had thai accent....order all my favourite food....n its her treat cos its my birthday! yeap then we went to do alittle shopping.....then incidents came up again...as we were busy looking at signboards, this time round its serene driving....we almost knock into road works at the centre of the road......i was really shock out of my life la..haha serious.......wet my pants haha yup but she damn expert in parking lo.....ya ok also went out wif weijie on fri nite......we went to PS Crystal jade to eat....order dishes to eat....yummy their duck is fantastic.....then we did some shopping....as our birthdays r onli a week apart so we went to Fox, each choose a piece of t shirt then buy for each other haha.....fun leh ......yup yup we also went to watch '12 Lotus'.....eh i duno how to say abt this movie but i dun like it......hmm its film in an unattractive way la.....well its subjective.......... yup anyway Karl bought me a cake too n I blown my 22nd candle away.....hmm yup hehe......today went dinner wif my family.....we had buffet at swissotel.....long time nv eat wif my family le...hmm miss them......well i had a nice birthday this yr........yeah still haf to make 3 wishes.....yup

1. Wish that I can achieve good results in my studies...esp sociology haha

2. Wish that my family members stay healthy n happy

3. Wish that me n my loved one would stay happy always......dotz

2008-08-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

hey.....went out wif weijie, Jinhui, maoxin n hong rui on fri nite to marina sq for a gathering.......hehe we had Carl's jr...we order super lots of food.......haha eat finish then chat the nite away....we chat abt alot of things like how we r doin in sch....wat the other camp mates r doin....gossip abt people oso.......hmm funny too....haha yup anyway wishing Weijie Happy Birthday!

2008-08-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

hey.....yeap school has started!!!! yeah....hmm first week quite slack la lectures all veri short onli n tutorials onli start 3rd week so its ok......but there are lotsa readings........my god....damn alot lo....I am taking 2 chinese modules, 1 Sociology, 1 geography n 1 history........hmm cant really understand wat sociology is about.....its not tat simple lo...... yup m blessed with many people around me.....my Orientation Group friends always there for me......yup n Karl.......hehe hmm oh yah....Went national parade wif Weijie n another friend......haha damn fun lo.......can scream all we want haha.......n we r damn suay people cos it actually start raining lo.....haha suay........hmm the goodie bag oso nothing much la.....the performance ok onli......after the parade, we went down to the platform there.....trying to get some performers to take pic wif haha.....yup me n weijie were pushing here n there.....veri funny........yeap

2008-08-06T09:30:00.001-07:00

hey.....okie i m back frm Malaysia.......hmm the whole journey was not a nice one cos i have been vomiting.......haiz.....first day we went to Genting...coincidentally, the mtv asia awards was oso being held there......cool rite....n i think some of the stars actually stay in my hotel haha tats the onli excitment i haf haha the casinos n the amusement parks offer me nothing lo.....i m not interested......eh cant eat much good food....everything comes out haha....yup then 2nd day was to KL.....actually KL shopping centres r freakin big.....but nth much to see too........haha i didnt buy anything lo.......but its a nice place.....ok n the journey back is terrible! spent hours rotting in the bus.......yup Anyway I have moved in to my Hostel!!!!!!!!!!! yeap Prince George Park...........1st day my mum n dad came to help me clean the whole room.......haf to wash the toliet.....well at least everything is done in a swirl.....the room is not veri dirty oso.....then we went out to buy things....fridge oso.....yeap moved everything in....eh after my parents left...hmm all by myself....i think its quite lonely at times.....yup but i like my room..my environment...yeap hehe n the aircon is freakin cold n my neighbour opp me, i deliberately ask him where the washing machine is n he really brought me all the way down to the ground floor....haha nice guy sia.......... haha today i bought lotsa tidbits, instant noodles n drinks.......getting ready to pinic....hehe yup brand new life awaits me......yup...gona slp! tata...

2008-08-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

hey....yup recently watched 'Money not enough 2' wif Jorden.......hmm i think the storyline is quite touchin de......not tat criticizin the government but more on social problems.........quite nice n its funny too but i dun like those computer effects in the show......its like so unreal n its not nice.........yup today I had Chinese Studies Orientation camp.......for freshies, there were onli a few of us la cos not many people r interested in chinese studies society.....plus the Oweek is oso in the makin....but i still drag Kevin there haha...hmm the 1 day camp was fun...we know more about wat is in store for us when we choose to study chinese modules, we also had dialogue session with a few lecturers.....they r nice la......tats wat i like abt chinese departments cos tutors n students haf veri close ties....yup we also had lotsa station games.....the seniors really took gd care of us.....n they really gave us lotsa advice......yup yup.....after which went to mit Karl for dinner......we went to YIH Munchy Monkies to haf dinner.......hmm the pasta quite nice.....a pity tat i m not feelin well these few days....been vomiting....haiz.......anyway i will be travellin to Genting n KL for the next 3 days.......hehe gona cum back on mon nite......hmm time to get away n prepare myself for school reopen n certain things......yup tata

2008-07-27T10:05:00.000-07:00

hey.....yeap yeap today went to wisma....wanted to make specs n is tat Serene who recommend lo.....but quite expensive lo.....so nid to reconsider......anyway i really dun look gd in specs...haha me n weijie spent such a long time choosin the right frame.....damn hard to choose....haha yup then went topman to shop...hehe bought a pair of beach shorts..... hmm then we went Heeren shoppin then had a early dinner at Cine Shokudo jap restaurant....their pasta veri de nice lo......portion oso juz nice.....yeap then we went to take Neo prints!!!!!!!haha long time nv act cute le haha but its always veri rush when we r takin the pictures....no time to think of poses lo....haha...oso went to purchase some new undergarments haha veri cute lo the colours i picked......cute....walk to PS cos nid to buy handphone charger.....n to take away dinner for Karl...hehe haiz he is bein banned from goin out of campus for veri long le cos he nids to do project.....so i haf to go find him...bring him food......yup juz to add on, Serene is really a bitch of a kind......haha argh wan to strangle her...........heeee

2008-07-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

hey....yup back to blog....been busy recently too.....alot of things....yeap been busy wif my moving to hostel...alot of things to buy.....went wif weijie to buy my bedsheets....hehe buy my pillow too....still got alot...find a day muz go down Ikea.....haha.....yup then there is my QET test....i dun think i can pass la so yup nid to take english module........went wif Karl to his poly alunmi bbq.....we had a hardtime findin the place n in the end its rainin n they cancel the bbq....haha its a veri tiring nitez but i enjoy myself n the time spent wif Karl.......his teachers remind me of my JC or sec sch teachers...veri motherly n carin towards students.......yup been oso busy wif workin part time at citylink.........yup hm its tirin....eh went to watch 'The X files' wif my adidas colleagues.....hmm i find the whole show quite intriguing, i mean its nice la...but they say boring.....its quite a thriller...nice.....hmm school is starting soon.....more things to get prepared for..........yeap

2008-07-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

hey....hmmm sun was my last day at OG adidas.........yeap it feels kind of sad when u got to leave the place where it groom u....i started off dislikin the place when i got posted there at first n yeap till now i still dun like the place....in fact i dun think i will ever step into chinatown again...simply dun like the place.....but i m still emotions entangled......there r alot of people whom i will miss alot......such as my colleague Weiyi....he taught me the ropes of doing sales.....he helped me cover whatever i did wrong....even when i m bully, he will stand up for me......haha yup he is a really gd friend n i taught him english too....hmm the OG cashiers Joey n Pei Yi which i will miss lot too.......cos they r the ones tat made me wan to go to work cos we always haf fun teasin each other n chit chattin......adidas in OG is jus like my second home cos i had a part in buildin it up....yup i gave my life to it...i was devoted.....i dun think anyone would know the storeroom better than me haha n the storeroom is freakin messy lo.....yup for the 3 mths spent there, i saw alot n i learn alot...i think i matured.....yeap but 1 thing for sure, i will not miss the customers there!!!! haha they r freaks! well we had a celebration on sun as we successfully hit the target of the month so weiyi is givin us a treat for both adidas OG n adidas citylink......we went to bugis after work to eat MAla hot pot steamboat.....hmm i treated them drinks.....we all eat n eat....there were 8 of us la....then some even compete eatin prawns haha....after which we took pictures...yup i will be startin workin part time back at citylink so yeap.....back home but i guess now the feelin is different, once the place where i wanna be but now i rather be esle where.....

2008-07-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

hey...yeap hmm watch 'Hancock' wif Karl yesterday......its weird movie line n the story is no link lo.......haha but kind of like the supernatural effects.....anyway i oso had Sakae sushi for dinner......hmm the price of 1 plate has gone up lo....wonder how long i nv eat sakae liao.......n ya the food sucks........yeap hmmmm beeen feeling down these days.....cos been thinking over stuff...been feeling lethargic too...hmm tired .................fortunately there is someone to cheer me up.......n i sort out my thinking le....yeap i think its veri hard to please everyone.......so y bother to try? i mean i believe in time will help to get to know a person better.....hmm it does not matter how people think of me.....cos i no longer bother......i believe in if u r everything to everybody, u end up being nothing to urself.......i tried to change myself n i did alot of things which i m not happy about.....so i guess i found myself again... i m happy bein myself........

2008-07-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

hey....yup recently had quite a few gathering....1 is wif my pri sch mates....met up wif Jiayin n Guo quan....yeap we went to Chijmes Hogs breathe cafe to haf dinner....yup steak was the speciality so must try....hehe the portion was quite big so ate till veri full....after tat went around to take pictures.....haha alot lo....oso went to a cafe at raffles city for dessert...we had ice cream but i still prefer ben & jerry's de lo......cravin for it! yup Jiayin is leavin for melbourne next week so bought some little gifts for her hehe yup hate to say goodbye but she will be back ya.........ok had another gatherin wif my Arts Camp OG mates....not many turn up lo...onli a few......we went to marina sq to haf hotpot culture for dinner.....hey its pretty worth it la cos u get to eat steamboat plus u can order cooked dishes all u wan......we juz kept orderin n plates of dishes juz came....damn scary la cos its like soooo much......alot lo.....i haf to finish quite alot of food lo.....but must say their cooked dishes r veri tasty...much nicer than the steamboat which makes the steamboat insignificant lo.....yeap Ivan is damn funny cos he kept on teasin the waitress n he kept on orderin food which we realli dread......haha yeap.....hmm damn tirin lo these few days....i seldom end work so early today n i got no nothin on so i went out for a walk......went window shopping.......saw cakes but its like 6 bucks a slice....damn ex la...must save money...haiz cravin for cakes again.........

2008-06-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

hey....yup met up wif weijie on fri....went bugis! yeah....its been a long time since we go shopping lo....yup firstly we went to haf dinner at this french restaurant ya customers can design ur own pasta lo....pretty cool hor....dinner was great la.....i had prawn pasta...n our fav strawberrry milkshake! oh yah their mushroom soup is freakin nice too...........after tat went around shopping....went bugis street too n hey we saw shorts pants!!!!! oh my god....i wanna save money lo....weijie kept on psychoin me to buy but i didnt! haha alot of determination sia.....weijie bought one lo haiz i wanna buy 1 too.....but i got so many le....hmm actually onli 4 pairs onli la haha yeap then we went suntec popular to buy stationary as weijie is gona start work n studies soon n me gona start school too so we bought alot of pens, pencil, files and notebooks haha yup.......then we headed to marina sq to watch movie....we watch 'Dont mess with the Zohan'........haha veri lame show lo.....its not funny de but more of stupid! haha not my type of amusement.........okie today weijie came to my work place wif his sister...we went for lunch together durin my breaktime......pass him a shirt n g2000 vouchers.....hehe we ate kolo mee....nice lo......yup then later on at work, Karl came to find me hehe......he bought me cakes n ice tea.....haha but i was reali busy at tat moment....but anyway the cakes damn nice....its tiramisu n it melts in ur mouth ya hah...

2008-06-26T06:05:00.000-07:00

hey.....yeah man...haha i juz got back from my orientation camp...NUS ARTS camp 08......yeah.....yeap it was alot of fun n laughter......i learn alot from the camp yup....cos i haf been thinkin thru lotsa things........eh... it does not really bother how other people think of me as long as i m happy tats it.... yup i learn how to say NO to people....i mean since i m not happy doin something then y do it? yup sometimes i m juz too lazy to bother abt other people.... some r really veri fake, some characters reveal negative attitude yeap there r all kinds of people lo! hehe anyway i still enjoy myself alot haha on the first day, met up wif kevin at clementi...saw many familiar faces....my army officer which i dun really give a damn to him now... i oso saw Shrek haha but we goin different camps la...day 1 was mainly ice breakers with my O Group lo...play alot of games..... but eat veri little, run abt alot, drinkin lotsa water haha i think i lose weight le lo....yup we slept at NUS Sheares hall... hey its actually quite nice leh juz tat no aircon haha... i slept on the table but the table was damn big n it is actually quite nice to slp on lo aha! day 2 we went out of sch....yeah went to places near the sch on the misson to take pictures n play games..... we went to har paw villa, clementi woods garden and clementi central....took alot of crazy pictures wif my friends... n we even shouted cheers at clementi central outside ntuc then got alot of people lookin at us lo....damn paisei haha plus at nite got speed datin which seriously i got no interest in haha cos all my interest snap up by someone le.... ya anyway we were sitted in front of a gal in a big circle then nid to tok lo...tok for like 5 mins then we switch argh so bo liao how to make friends like tat? its so fast tat i dun rem whom i spoke to haha yup then there was fright nite haha there were 3 stations, first station was to walk thru a tunnel n its pitch black lo i was the leader of the group n there was 2 gals n another guy so gota protect the gals la haha its not scary since i know the ghost r all fake ones n i can see them in the dark lo haha so i juz tell them to get lost. 2nd station was in a toliet, this one is much scarier cos the toliet is pitch dark plus the moment u step into the toliet there is someone hanging down le....some more we got to find items in there so must go like every cubicle to see n its veri nervous de lo... 3rd station was like a maze la got to walk here n there in the dark too... some ghost can speak to us n give us clues but there will chase us de, its really scary for tat one cos i freak out myself haha yup good experience lo... Day 3 we went to Sentosa!!!!! my most anticipated event for the whole camp! we went sentosa to play games....the sun was great.....played alot of water games n got soak.. but beach games r always rough yup got many cuts on my legs....nice nice.... hehe n late nite supper is damn relaxin too...haha its like every nit i will go find Karl at Temasek hall cos its kinda near la.....yeap last nite we take away lotsa food then went back eat....so full till cant slp!!! but i think Sheares hall spicy fried rice damn nice leh...addicted to it liao lo....................................................................okie this camp met alot of interestin people... got to know some new friends... yup keep in touch...plus the OGLs r veri nice people too......hmm its quite a different experience tat i got frm this camp....yup yeah man haha

2008-06-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

hey....yeap back.....some updates........recently went to the art museum wif Karl.....eh its actually quite fun there cos u get to see things tat u dun get to see everyday.....i think i learn something from the trip......we look at Xu BeiHong art works......n many many more.......i think its quite relaxin to tour the whole gallery especially on a sunny afternoon.......we went to marina sq to have dinner at cafe cartel then went to watch 'The happening'.........woot its quite nice wat....though many people think its crap haha but i mean its quite ok cos its not too gory n abit scary too......things always pop out haha......the story tells abt trees trying to kill humans which it could be true mah.....but i dun like the endin cos its like so abrupt........yup then went back to karl's hostel.....eh he surprised me wif a cake......stunned lo......hehe cos he haf been prohibiting me from eatin cakes n ice cream cos i m coughin n i have been cravin for cakes like mad recently so veri touched when he brought me a cake.....yummy....thanks thanks.........oh yeah i manage to squeeze 5 days out for my orientation camp!!!! hehe its next wk so damn rush la....i haven got the time to adjust myself mentally.....haha yup today went to get stuff for my camp......so troublesome........hehe goin wif my jc friend Kevin....plus i found out tat hongrui n tat emanuel is goin too......haha my gosh....well hope next wk camp would turn out to be fun.....yeap